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Lyrics

Attributions

I should have listened to my mother
I would have been a better man
I could have made it so much easier
Now that chance won't come again

I should have been a better husband
I should have been a better son
I should have been a better person
Now look what I have done
God, what have I done

I should have kept up
I should have stayed low
I should have thought of all of this before
I should have worked hard
I should have watched out
Now I deserve to be without

But my parents should a tried harder
And my friends knew better too
I should a had better teachers
I should have gone to better schools

Someone's to blame for all this pain
I expected more from you
You must have seen, you must have known
So I'm blaming all of you
Yea, I'm blaming all of you

You should have kept up
You should have stayed low
You should have thought of all of this before
You should have worked hard
You should have watched out
Now you deserve to do without

It doesn't help to get angry
It doesn't help to get sad
It doesn't help to feel guilty
It only makes you feel bad

All the shoulds and the shouldn'ts
All the musts that you use
They're a way to place the blame
Every time you lose
Every time you get the blues

But it's all right; You can let go
Of all the expectations
From everyone you know
You can just be what you want to be
No need to blame you
No need to blame me

How much longer will you live
In a world you can't excuse
How much longer will this last
How much do you have to lose?
How much do you have to lose?

But it's all right; You can let it go
All the expectations
From everyone you know
You can just be what you want to be
No need to blame you
No need to blame me

Do What Works

Face the facts, you're just a product of your past.
Your emotional ghosts make the pain last.
They're pulling at your strings, make you feel all kinds of things,
But you just can't detach, the strings are so attached.

Chorus:
What to do, what to do, what to do with this pain
You think it's all over, then it comes back again
What to do, what to do, what to do with this hurt
Do what works, do what works, do what works
Do what works, do what works...

It was all so crazy many years ago
And just like déjà vu, those strings got hold of you
And your heart becomes crippled like it did so long before
You're down on your knees, trying to get up off the floor

Chorus

You're clawing at connections that have been there for so long
You're a twitching little marionette who thinks that something's wrong.
You want to reach for the scissors, maybe free yourself at last.
But you stop just in time, you got to hold on to your past.

Chorus

All or Nothing

You fell off the wagon, there's no use in trying.
There is no redemption, it's all or nothing.
No shades of gray, black or white all the way.
Day after day, it's all or nothing.

It's fight or flight. It's black or white
It's day or night. It's all or nothing.
It's right or wrong. It's weak or strong.
It's short or long. It's all or nothing.

Can you tolerate uncertainty?
Can you tolerate ambiguity?
Can you tolerate complexity?
Can you still relate to reality?

It's always or never. There's no in between.
This'll go on forever. It's all or nothing.
There's no maybe that. There's no maybe this.
Forget all the facts. It's all or nothing.

It always goes wrong. You can't get it right.
It's the same old song. It's all or nothing.

The fault is all his. The fault is all hers.
The fault is all yours. It's all of nothing.

Can you tolerate uncertainty?
Can you tolerate ambiguity?
Can you tolerate complexity?
Can you still relate to reality?

In Your Defense

Chorus:
Whatever you feel like you need to do
In your defense, you're breaking all the rules.
Whatever you feel like you need to do
In your defense, you're breaking all the rules.

In your defense, you will:
Lie, accuse, confuse, justify, improvise, rationalize, analyze, minimize.

Chorus

In your defense, you will:
Shame, argue, defy, overrate, recreate, manipulate,
Wait and wait, wait and wait.

Chorus

In your defense, in your defense.

Whatever you feel like you need to do
To save this fragile thing called "you"
Whatever twisted little strategies
Keeps you safe from your enemies

Any trick you can pull out of your hat
Fool them all with an act like that
Keep them guessing till they go away
Fool yourself the very same way.

In your defense, you will
Judge, laugh, blame, explain, defame, rename.
It's all the same, it's all the same

Chorus

A Matter of Trust

Your words seem like poison.
My nervous needs, they betray me.
Monsters of my ego.
All these fears beyond what I can see.

Destroyer of relationships,
The destroyer of my dreams.
Protector of my fearful heart,
Nothing is quite as it seems.

It's a matter of trust,
As a matter of fact.
Deny it if you must,
But it keeps coming back to this.

I see ghosts in every corner
Like a frightened little child.
I deny my heart's desire.
Oh, my mind is running wild.

It won't let my thoughts rest.
My heart is shattering.
The thought of unseen rivals;
I just might do anything.

These nagging suspicions
Make me so ashamed.
I'm trapped by this feeling.
I'm trapped in this game with you.

(Interlude)

It consumes me. (To possess you)
Can you tell? (Keep you near)
This is what it's like (To control you)
To be in hell. (Eases my fear)

It's a matter of trust,
As a matter of fact.
Deny it if you must,
But it keeps coming back to this.

Suicide Note

I didn't choose this
I'm not crazy
This ain't about being wrong or right
It's about making it stop

I've tried talking, I've tried hoping
I've tried everything,
But nothing spells relief
I try to hide my pain
I try to hide my self
Don't want to make a fuss
Or bother no one else

I know that you mean well
I know how much you care
But you don't understand
That I'm in here and you're out there

I try to hide the shame
I try to hide the guilt
Don't want to place the blame
On those who tried to help

I know they disagree
I know they think I'm wrong
What they don't understand
Is I'm already gone

I go to sleep … it's still there
When I wake up … it's still there
I go to work … it's still there
It's always waiting for me

I'm going through the motions
In a cage of my own design
It's time to ease the suffering
Of this fragile, battered mind

The silent darkness waits
You can see it in my face
I'm disappearing now
And I won't leave a trace

Can it be worse than this?
My God will understand
No one will miss me here
Thank God it's over at last

Too many have left me here
Too many have hurt me here
Too many have used me here
And it will never end

I know they disagree
I know they think I'm wrong
What they don't understand
Is I'm already gone

I've been shrouded in my anger
Shrouded in my misery
They say the grass is greener
But there's no guarantee

If you're wondering why I'm smiling,
It's because I've got good news.
Mmmm … my decision is made.
This nightmare will be over soon.

Take this poor lost soul and wrap me in silence
Into your arms my god, I commend my spirit

Ebb and Flow

Pushing upward, rising and falling
Pounding seashores eternally
Forever weaving as if it's breathing
The deep blue ocean; the deep blue sea

Like my life, these waters ebb and flow
Like the tide, the years they come and go
And it churns like my thoughts
In the salty brine below

The currents of the ocean
Have become my dearest friends
They speak to me, they say the means justify the ends

Seen stormy weather raging on this sea
I battled them all, but they took their toll on me
I see the reflections of the scars that I have earned
And the starry night knows everything I've learned

Like my life, these waters ebb and flow
Like the tide the years they come and go
And it churns like my thoughts
In the salty brine below

A flat horizon, no boundaries
A blissful merging of sky and sea
The water's calm now, I let my sails down
Let the water carry me now

Like my life, These waters ebb and flow
Like the tide the years they come and go
And it churns like my thoughts
In the salty brine below

The creatures of the ocean
Have become my dearest friends
They often say, we've lost our way
And it's time to make amends

Prayer of Revenge

Was it abuse that turned you to stone?
What did you lose? Who must atone?
When you're hurt down deep inside;
When a part of you has died.
This is your prayer of revenge,
This is your prayer of revenge
For the unfaithful, the deceitful, the malicious, and the proud
The slanderers, the cheaters, the heartless, and now …

It's a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye,
Evil for evil, it goes around twice.
If we keep this up, we'll be toothless and blind

Was it your fear that turned you to ice?
Was it your ego on the line?
No sign of mercy in your eyes.
Your satisfaction's on the line.

This is your prayer of revenge.
This is your prayer of revenge.
For the greedy, the wicked, who boast of their sins
The ungrateful, the liars, the traitors, and then

It's a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye,
Evil for evil, it goes around twice.
If we keep this up, we'll be toothless and blind.

Is it your pride that's blocking your view?
Will you do unto others as they do unto you?
There's nothing noble in your designs
Becoming the thing that you despise.

This is your prayer of revenge,
This is your prayer of revenge.
For the transgressors, the abusers, the cowards, and the thieves
The adulterers, and the racists, the neglectful, don't you see …

It's a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye,
Evil for evil, it goes around twice.
To err is human, to forgive is divine.

Revenge is an open wound in your heart,
And there can be no peace.
Forgiveness is the gift that heals,
Despite all the anger and hate that you feel.

This is your prayer of forgiveness,
This is your prayer of forgiveness.
That frees you from all of the slings and the arrows
Of outrageous fortune, all the heartache and the pain.

Let it lead you to mercy and lead you to peace
Lead you to mercy and lead you to peace
Lead you to mercy and lead you to peace

Forgive them father
For they know not what they do.

The Haunted

I get tired of people saying
That things were meant to be this way and
Destiny can’t be escaped
What will be, will be. It's just your fate.

You can live in your haunted world
Scared of the night like a little girl
With ghosts and demons everywhere
Spirits flying through the air

Superstition, clouds the mind
Superstition, acurse on mankind

There's a light at the end of the tunnel
but it's still so dim
No time left for us to be subtle so come on my friend
The power of reason has made itself known
And in the end, we'll let a new age begin.
W e'll let a new age begin.

UFO’s and magical spells
Channeling spirits and wishing wells
Black cats and witches and potions and charms
Misguided fools who say there’s no harm

Miracle cures and demon possessions,
ESP and past life regressions
There’s no such thing as astrology
No lucky pennies or telepathy

Superstition, clouds the mind
Superstition, a curse on mankind

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel
B ut it's still so dim
We've got every reason to struggle
So come on my friend
The power of reason has made itself known
And in the end we'll let a new age begin.
W e'll let a new age begin.

Telekinesis, speaking in tongues,
Breaking a mirror, what's done is done
Medicine men and four leaf clovers
Omens and amulets, think it over

Crystals and healings, devils and gods,
Crosses and pentagrams, what are the odds?
Scared of the real world's uncertainty,
You make up your own strange reality.

Superstition, clouds the mind
Superstition, a curse on mankind

I Don't Love You

I don't love you, Even though I want to
I don't love you, Even though I want to

It's my heart, It's so empty
It's my heart, It's to blame
It's my heart, I protect it
It's my heart, From the pain

I don't want you
Even though I'd love to
I don't want you
Even though I need to

It's my heart, It's been broken
It's my heart, What a shame
It's my heart, Here's a token
It's my heart, Of my shame

It's not that I love anyone else
Believe me you’re just what I need
I don't have the love that you deserve
I don't have the love that you need

I don't love you
I've got nothing to give you
I don't love you
I wish I could feel like you

It's my heart, I'm dead inside
It's my heart, I don't want to feel this way
It's my heart, I'm so dead inside
It's my heart, I'm sorry to cause this pain

It's my heart, It's so empty
It's my heart, It's to blame
It's my heart, I protect it
It's my heart, From the pain

Equipment

Korg Triton Pro
Les Paul Electric Guitar
Alverez Acoustic Guitar
Boss GT-3 Guitar Effects Processor
Cool Pro Music Editing Software
Aardvark Direct Pro 24/96 Personal Studio System
Lexicon MPX100 Dual Channel Processor
Mackie 1402 VLZ Pro Mixer
Shure SM58 Microphone

Credits

Composed by Scott Badger
Attributions
Do What Works
All or Nothing
In Your Defense
A Matter of Trust
Suicide Note
Prayer of Revenge
The Haunted
I don't Love You

Composed by Scott Badger & Mike Odell
Ebb and Flow

All songs performed by Scott Badger

All songs produced by Scott Badger

Author's Notes

The afflictions that beset us all from time to time are many and varied. Some burdens are light; some are heavy. Some are carried for only a day; some are carried all of our lives. If your load is light, please help your neighbors when their loads are heavy if you can. - Scott Badger